MOOGLES of Greatness : Dancing away since January 1999
Terzol's Tro Speak Guide o' Doom
U BSTRD! YE! U! U SUX! U CNT SPEEK TRO SPEEK BT I TEECH U! WUT? U TINK U CN!?? I GT 10000000*&0000 FILMZ THT SHW THT U CNT! HAHAHAHADL;FKHADG
That, my small furry friends is a classic example of Tro speak. In just a few lessons I'll have you speaking it with the best of 'em.
To be a good Tro player you must be incredibly confrontational. Don't deny that everytime you lose you wanna yell at the host and/or winner and tell them how much they suck and that they obviously cheated. Look at the facts: everyone except you and yer good friend Terzy cheats. Even supposedly nice guys. They're all out to screw you over and use sneaky little game bugs that you know nothing about. You know like when they fire arrows at yer dorf. What the hell is that?? You went through all the trouble of naming him "Cutie" and now yer opponent cheats and kills him. Book IV, Section VII, Paragraph V of the Bungie.net rules of conduct explicitly prohibits killing dorfs with the names Cutie, Princess and Shnookums. Look it up!
Lesson 1: Everyone Cheats
Have you ever seen one of those people on bungie.net who uses so-called "periods" and "lowercase letters?" Didn't you want to take their dirty vowels and shove 'em where the sun don't shine? I know I do. And if you want to be a Tro speaker, that is the exact type of rational thinking that you must keep in mind. Since when was bungie.net a freakin' english class. Yer there to get points and kick ass! Punctuation just serves to get in the way of crowning yerself Emp Tro Speaker! With that in mind, probably rhe most important rule of Tro speak is to avoid using wimpy dork typing at all costs. No lowercases, no periods, no commas, and as little vowels as you can manage; just good ole capital letters and exclamations for the true Tro player.
Lesson 2: Only losers use proper English
Did you know that 99% of all things people say on bungie.net are insults directed towards yer person? It's a statistical fact. Now, a lot of stupid people think "gg" means good game. Ha! They couldn't be more wrong. GG is how people say, "God you suck! Go to hell!" Likewise, "afk" doesn't mean away from keyboard. It obviously is code for "All of you guys rule except for that Frigging Kangaroo. Haha! Look how much *insert yer name here* sucks!" How do you respond to this? Well, some dumbasses would say ignore them: it's not like you know them or anything. WRONG! By them insulting you and you not doing anything about it, you embarass yerself in front of the entire of Myth community. You must immediatley scream in Tro at them while calling for an Admin. In the case of "AFK" a lot of times the speaker is a wuss and won't respond when you yell at him. Ha! You showed him!
Lesson 3: They're all out to get you
Final lesson! THE most important Tro speak words are as folows: TRO, BSTRD, WORE, U, SUX, DROPZ, FILMZ, ET, DAM, KIL, CHEETZ. Use any combination of these words as often as possible for the desired results. Now, I'm sure some of you Moogles out there are wondering, "Why would anyone want to speak in Tro speak?" HAHAHAHAHAHDA;LKGJAD;KLHG! Don't make me beat you! People who don't speak in Tro speak are obviously losers who have no educashun and can't make setences. They think they're so damn smart but they're really not. Trust me. As long as you speak in Tro speak everyone on bungie.net will respect and like you especially if you cleverly insult them using the words listed above. And if everyone likes you, yer bound to know some emps who can help you get more points in Beecee Tro.
Lesson 4: Everyone likes Tro speakers
Now for some examples of good Tro sentences. Use them if you want to but it's better to make them up yourself.
HAHAHAAG! I BEET U AL! U AL SUX! TH BST PRT WUZ WEN M TRO KIKED U!
MAJUR CHEETZ! H KLLED CUTEE! I GT FILMZ F MEE KCKING HS AS. HAHAHADKFL;J. MAJUR SUX!!!!!
DAM U! I ET U! NXT TIM WE PLY I KIK UR AS ND ET UR FASE!!!!!! *drop*
U BSTRD! U STLE M KLL! U CHEETZ ND NW M TRO HAZ FLIMZ F ITE!
Last Updated: August 8th, 1999
Online Since: Jan 30th, 1999
copywrite 1999 Emerald City Productions.
[This document was originally located at http://mog.ancrik.com